Such a hard lesson to learn. When Jay and I first got married, I felt that I was ready, healed, and ready for our bright future. However, the first three years taught me that I still had some stuff that I hadn’t let go of. Can you relate? Hopefully these tips can help you move forward.
They are not our Ex- yes, we know that, of course we know that! However, when situations arise, we react as though the past returns. Remind yourself, daily if you have to, he or she is not my ex. Even if you see some traits that are similar, they are NOT your ex. Don’t make your new spouse pay for what your ex did.
Don’t look through the lens of the past- Things will come up with your spouse, with your step children as you blend as a family. It’s important to make yourself look through a new lens. Dont filter everything with what you went through in the past. This is NOT your past, this your present and future. It doesnt do you any good to drive while looking through the rear view mirror!
While I believe these two points will help you proceed with your new life. However, I know for some the hurt, fear, disappointment, etc. from the past can keep them hostage and they are unable to move. In this case, I highly recommend seeing someone that can help you navigate through some of those hurdles. Sometimes, dealing with the past hurts, fear, disappointments, etc is necessary in order to move forward to the present and future. So, my prayer for you is that God will show you if there’s something in your past you need to deal with or if you just need to focus on the windshield as you drive towards your great future!